The Girl with the Clockwork Angel
by brynnthehuman
Summary: A rewrite (kind of) of Clockwork Angel from Jem's perspective
1. Chapter 1

Will entered the room, his face impassive, "We have a visitor at the Institute."

Jem watched him cross the room to sit in the armchair, though he collapsed more than he sat, his muddy boots splattering specks of dirt, before Jem asked, "One of the Clave?"

"No, she's a warlock, it seems."

"She? Has she spurned your advances already?"

Will scowled, "Why do you ask that?"

"Because you're in here with me," Jem smiled, "Why is she here? Who is she?"

"She was being held captive by the Dark sisters, she possesses a power to transform her appearance into others. It was dormant until they taught her how to use it. Other than that, she seems to be a mundane with no knowledge of our world."

"How did the Dark sisters know about her?" Jem was sitting up now, very interested in this girl that Will spoke of with detached disinterest.

"She has a brother, he sent for her to come here from New York, and the Dark sisters met her when she got off the steamer."

"Her brother set her up?"

Will cocked his head, not looking at Jem, "She was holed up for six weeks in a foreign country with them, but she's just concerned about her brother, wondering where he could possibly be."

Seeing the faraway look in Will's eyes, Jem just nodded. The pair sat in silence for some time, before Will seemed to snap back into the present, leaning forward to look into Jem's eyes.

"How are you?"

Jem waved him away, "I'm fine."

"You missed dinner."

"What's she like?"

Will raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

"The visitor. What's her name?"

"Miss Gray."

"What's Miss Gray like?" Jem was genuinely curious, and Will fought the urge to divulge every thought he'd had about Tessa to his parabatai. He didn't want Jem to think he liked Tessa, not when he was trying to convince himself that he wasn't interested.

"Tall. American. Stubborn."

Suddenly, a coughing fit came over Jem, and Will sat straight up and clenched his fists until the coughing ceased. He hated being so unable to help Jem, to ease his suffering.

"Do you need more of your… medicine? I'll be going out later, I could get some." Will's voice was soft, his eyes troubled.

"No, I have enough, thank you."

Standing, Will looked at his parabatai, "I'll leave you to it. Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Will."

Jem dozed for a bit, waking when Sophie came to offer him water. He tried to sleep again, but kept reliving the past. He woke up and got out his violin, playing to drown out the memory of his mother calling out his name, her voice strained and broken.

While he was playing, he heard the door open.

"Will? Will, is that you?" There was no answer, so he stopped playing, "Will…" Turning, he saw someone that was not Will, and he said, "You're not Will."

He regretted making such an obvious observation, but she spoke, ""I'm so sorry," She paused to clear her throat, "I—I didn't mean to come in here like this. It's— My room is across the hall, and-"

"That's all right. You're Miss Gray, aren't you? The shape-changer girl. Will told me a bit about you." She was tall, with grey eyes and brown hair tumbling past her shoulders. Jem hadn't expected her to be so pretty, but his reverie was interrupted when the girl spoke.

"Oh." She sounded anxious, and Jem's curiosity rose.

"Oh? You don't sound terribly pleased that I know who you are."

"It's that I think Will is angry with me, so whatever he told you—"

Jem laughed, but he was thinking about Will, wondering what he'd done to Miss Gray, "Will is angry with everyone, I don't let it color my judgment."

Setting down his violin, he introduced himself.

The pair talked of China, of the girl's life in New York, of Marks. Their conversation was one that Jem was wholly interested in, and the more he learned about Miss Gray, the more he wanted to learn. Will entered, and while Jem was never not happy to see Will, he wished he'd stayed out just a little longer.

Will asked Jem what the Chinese call the British, and when Jem answered, Will said the girl's name for the first time, "Hear that, Tessa? I'm a devil. So are you."

Jem repeated her name inside his head, _Tessa_. It suited her.

The conversation continued with Will telling an undoubtedly fabricated tale of his night, all while pretending to be drunk. When Will joked about Tessa being in a gentleman's room in the night, Jem noticed that Tessa was quick to retort, "I don't see how what I do is your concern, especially since you abandoned me in the corridor and left me to find my own way back to my room." Her eyes flashed at Will, and Jem wondered why Will would have left her like that, but quickly put that question with the rest of the questions he had for Will that he would never ask.

Continuing on, they talked about Jem's violin, and when they-Tessa and Jem-began making fun of Will, Jem started coughing again. His knees buckled and blood bubbled up and he couldn't stop. Will was at his side, asking where _it_ was. Will had taken Tessa out, and just as suddenly, he was back in the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Jem woke up in the night from a fitful bout of sleep and walked along the halls, passing the doors to empty guest rooms, trailing his fingers along the walls. He kept walking until he got to Will's door, and opened the door. He walked in silently, stepping over the piles of clothes and books, stopping at Will's bed. Will was still fully clothed, asleep on his side on top of the coverlet.

There were pieces of paper around him, and Jem curiously picked one up. It was a letter to a man named Nate, and as Jem scanned the writing, he realized that Tessa wrote the letter. Will must have taken the letters from Charlotte's desk to read them for himself. The creases were worn, as though they'd been unfolded and folded many times.

Replacing the paper on the bed, Jem turned to go, but knocked over a book.

"Spying on me, James?" Will's eyes were open, sleepily raking over Jem.

"I wanted to make sure you had not choked on your own vomit."

"Sadly, I have not. How are you feeling, brother?"

"Better. Though I feel like I may have scared poor Miss Gray."

Will's eyes flashed, and all traces of humor were gone, "Better that she did not see."

"Do you not care for her?"

Will scowled, "I do not think we know her. Why tell a stranger?"

"I rather feel as though she is not going to remain a stranger."

"There has been no verdict on what to do with her." Will's voice suggested that he was on edge, and Jem decided not to pursue the subject any longer.

"All right. Goodnight, William."

"Goodnight, James."

Jem walked out of the room and went to the Institute's entrance, opening the heavy door with brief pause-he did not want to wake up Thomas or Sophie-and shut it as quietly as possible. He walked until he reached Blackfriars bridge. Even with his night vision rune, there wasn't much to see. But the air was sharp, and with the recent dose of the drug still in his system, Jem almost felt like he had no illness at all.

He did not like dwelling on the past and thinking of what life would be like if things had been different, but Jem let himself wonder idly about what might have been different about his personality, should he be wholly healthy. Would he be the same? Or would he be someone else entirely? He stood on the bridge for hours like that, his mind going to places he did not normally allow it to go.

As the sky began to show the first signs of daylight, Jem went back to the Institute, slipping back into his room. He dozed for a bit, then got up, got dressed, and started for the dining room. As he neared, he heard Charlotte's voice ask Will to take Jem with him, and Will's reply, "Is he well enough?" Surely Will ought to know that last night's attack was minor. Jem crossed his arms as he entered and stood by the sideboard, "He is quite well enough. In fact, he's ready when you are."

Charlotte pushed a plate toward Jem, telling him to eat. Jem caught Tessa's eye and smiled at her, and Charlotte immediately said, ""Oh, Jem—this is Miss Gray. She's—"

"We've met," Jem said, ignoring the bacon and picking up toast, buttering it as Charlotte's brows knit together, "You have?"

"I encountered Tessa in the corridor last night and introduced myself. I think I may have given her something of a fright." Jem wondered if he ought to have referred to her as Miss Gray, but as their eyes met, he thought that he'd done all right.

Shrugging, Charlotte went on, "Very well, then. I'd like you to go with Will. In the meantime, today, Miss Gray—"

"Call me Tessa," Tessa said, and Jem smiled into his tea, "I would prefer it if everyone did." Tessa suited her more than Theresa, it seemed to have more of her potent personality in it. Jem shook himself mentally for thinking like that, he barely knew her, he could not accurately say what her personality was like from their brief meeting the night before.

Charlotte smiled, clearly pleased with Tessa's comfort at the Institute, "Very well, Tessa. Henry and I will be paying a call on Mr. Axel Mortmain, your brother's employer, to see if he, or any of his employees, might have any information as to your brother's whereabouts."

The name piqued Jem's curiosity, and as Tessa thanked Charlotte, Jem spoke up, "I've heard of Axel Mortmain. He was a taipan, one of the big business heads in Shanghai. His company had offices on the Bund."

"Yes," said Charlotte, "the newspapers say he made his fortune in imports of silk and tea."

"Bah." Jem said, "He made his fortune in opium. All of them did. Buying opium in India, sailing it to Canton, trading it for goods." Mortmain had been one of the men responsible for all the addiction in China, and it gave Jem a bad feeling about him.

Charlotte looked at him anxiously, "He wasn't breaking the law, James."

As the conversation shifted, Jem watched Tessa without being too conspicuous. He was pulled out of his reverie by Charlotte's voice, uncharacteristically harsh, "Oh, all right. Honestly, sometimes I despair of the lot of you."

Looking at her, Jem asked, "What've I done? I only just arrived."

Will leaned over, both invading Tessa's personal space and ignoring her as he addressed Jem, "Should we leave now?"

"I need to finish my tea first," Jem said, even though he really just wanted to think of something with which to engage Tessa in conversation, "Anyway, I don't see what you're so fired up about. You said the place hadn't been used as a brothel in ages?"

"I want to be back before dark," Will said. He was intently ignoring Tessa now, whose lap he was nearly across, "I have an assignation in Soho this evening with a certain attractive someone."

"Goodness," Tessa said, looking at the back of Will's head with an amused, defiant look, "If you keep seeing Six-Fingered Nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions."

Jem choked on his tea.

After breakfast, the boys went on their way.

"You know," said Jem, looking at the house off Whitechapel High Street, "this isn't at all what I thought a brothel would look like." The dingy exterior seemed abandoned and threatening, though Jem knew that he, even unwell as he was, would likely outmatch anything they were to find in the Dark House.

"What were you imagining exactly, James?" Will's normal joking had resumed, the earlier mystery in his tone gone, "Ladies of the night waving from the balconies? Nude statues adorning the entranceway?"

"I suppose I was expecting something that looked a bit less drab." He couldn't imagine Tessa being here, and he wondered how frightened she must have been, but then he remembered her letter to Nate, how brave she had been in this house of horror, how strong her familial love was.

"We'll probably have to knock down the door—" Will said, preparing himself to throw himself against the grimy door.

Jem reached out and tried the knob before Will went into action, "Or not."

Grumbling, Will stepped into the house, with Jem taking his preferred position as the rear guard. As they went deeper into the house, Jem raised his witchlight, and the insects that dispersed as a result caused Will to make a face, "Nice place to live, isn't it? Let's hope they left something behind other than filth. Forwarding addresses, a few severed limbs, a prostitute or two…"

Sometimes Jem ignored Will's jokes, but this time he decided to go with it, "Indeed. Perhaps, if we're fortunate, we can still catch syphilis."

"Or demon pox," Will said, opening the door under the stairs with an easy turn of the knob, "There's always demon pox."

Jem rolled his eyes, "Demon pox does not exist."

"Oh ye of little faith," said Will, walking down the stairs to the cellar.

They searched the room, finding nothing but dust and a spot that could have been paint or blood. Moving on, they searched a hallway upstairs and went into separate rooms.

Going into a large, square room, Jem nearly jumped as he saw a woman. He called Will, and they looked at the figure in the armchair, blue eyes wide open and focused on nothing. "Gah," said Will, "Is she—"

"She's dead," said Jem, not looking at his parabatai, but at the woman, wondering how she had died and who she was.

"Are you certain?" Will touched the girl's arm, "Well, she's not responding to my advances, so she must be dead."

"Or she's a woman of good taste and sense. Miss," Jem said, kneeling down and reaching for her wrist, meaning to take a pulse. The girl moved, jerking under his hand, and let out a low inhuman moan. Jem stood up, "What in—"

The woman raised her head, a grinding sound coming from her lips, her eyes as blank as ever, "Beware!" she cried. Her voice sounded rough and unnatural, "Beware, Nephilim. As you slay others, so shall you be God nor the devil has made, an army born neither of Heaven nor Hell. Beware the hand of man. Beware." Her voice rose as she jerked about in her chair, "BEWARE BEWAREBEWAREBEWARE—"

"Good God," muttered Jem.

"BEWARE!" the woman shrieked again, and falling forward and topping on the ground where she remained, unmoving.

Will gawked at her, "Is she … ?"

"Yes, I think she's quite dead this time."

But Will shook his head, "Dead. You know, I don't think so." It was a simple enough thought, but it sent a shiver through Jem that he tried not to show.

"What do you think, then?" Jem watched as Will knelt and turned the woman's head, and Jem saw wires connecting her dangling left eye to its socket, "She's not alive," said Will, "but not dead, either. She may be … like one of Henry's gadgets, I think." He touched her face. "Who could have done this?"

Shrugging, Jem looked at Will, "I can hardly guess. But she called us Nephilim. She knew what we are."

"Or someone did," said Will, looking skeptically at the figure, "I don't imagine she knows anything. I think she's a machine, like a clock. And she has run down." He stood up, brushing off his hands on his pants. The dust from the room was on him, he always seemed to get filthy wherever he went. "Regardless, we had best get her back to the Institute. Henry will want to have a look at her."

Jem stayed silent as he looked at the girl-the machine-wondering what sort of functions she could perform, what sort of brain she had, if any.

The boys went from the Dark House back to the Institute with the machine, bringing her down to Henry's crypt for examination. When suppertime came, the boys went to the dining room, where Jem had hung the gasolier. By the time Tessa arrived, Jem was seated, looking up at Will, who was standing on the sideboard, "It serves you right if you break it," he said, and acknowledged Tessa, "Good evening, Tessa." He grinned as he saw her looking at Will, "I was hanging the gasolier crookedly, and Will is endeavoring to straighten it."

Jessamine entered, immediately chastising Will, "Really! Can't you get Thomas to do that? A gentleman needn't—"

"Is that blood on your sleeve, Jessie?" Will interrupted, his eyes briefly looking at her.

Turning and walking as far away as possible, Jessamine sat down and ignored them all.

"Did something happen while you and Jessamine were out?" Jem asked Tessa, turning to face her.

"No, it was nothing—" Tessa began, but Henry entered, cutting her off with a gleeful announcement as he held up a tube.

"I've done it! I'll wager you didn't think I could, did you?" Henry looked so proud, Jem winced slightly as Will looked away from the gasolier to glare at Henry and ask what he was going on about. As Henry explained what the Phosphor was, Will and Jem asked questions, hoping to understand what the thing _did_. Henry, though, seemed set on showing them instead of telling them, and pressed the button on the side of the tube. As the room went from very bright to very dark, Jem let out a laugh, glad that nothing terribly bad happened.

"Am I blind?" Will said, as annoyed as he usually was with Henry, "I'm not going to be at all pleased if you've blinded me, Henry."

"No. No, the Phosphor seems to— Well, it seems to have turned all the lights in the room off." Henry said, worry creeping into his tone.

"It's not supposed to do that?" Jem said, only half-joking.

"Er," said Henry, "no."

Will grumbled, and then there was a loud crash. Charlotte appeared, holding witchlight and looking stricken as she surveyed the damage: Will was on the floor, surrounded by broken bits of dishes. The pair argued, and then Charlotte declared that dinner would be lit by witchlight.

As they ate, Henry and Charlotte talked about their encounter with Mortmain, and Jem wondered what a man like Mortmain was really up to. Charlotte turned to Jessie and Will, and Tessa turned to Jem and spoke quietly, "Shanghai, it sounds so fascinating. I wish I could travel there. I've always wanted to travel." She was so open, Jem noticed. They barely knew each other, and yet, he felt very close to her already.

"And now you have. You're here, aren't you?"

"I've only ever traveled before in books. I know that sounds silly, but—"

Jessamine interrupted whatever Tessa thought sounded silly, telling Charlotte to curb Will's antagonism. As the table's focus shifted to Charlotte as she spoke and then left the room, Jem continued eating, ignoring the others, that is, until Henry spoke to Tessa, inquiring about her necklace.

"That clockwork object you wear around your neck—might I see it for a moment?" Tessa obliged, but as Henry asked more, eventually asking to examine it, Jem noticed that Tessa looked anxious.

Trying his best to look reassuring, Jem said, "Henry won't break or damage it, he's really very good with this sort of thing." As the conversation continued, Charlotte entered the room again, addressing the room, saying that Tessa had a visitor: Camille Belcourt.

"I contacted her about de Quincey. Just before supper. I hoped she would have some information, and she does, but she insists on seeing Tessa first," Charlotte said, looking at Henry, "It seems that despite all our precautions, rumors about Tessa have leaked into Downworld, and Lady Belcourt is … interested."

"Interested in what?" Tessa looked around, "Who is Lady Belcourt?" Turning to Jem, she asked, "Is she a Shadowhunter?"

"She's a vampire," Jem said, noting that Tessa seemed intrigued, not frightened. "A vampire informant, actually. She gives information to Charlotte and keeps us apprised of what's going on in the Night community."

"You needn't speak to her if you don't want to, Tessa," Charlotte said. "I can send her away."

"No." Tessa said, pushing her plate away and looking at the group, "If she's well informed about de Quincey, perhaps she knows something about Nate as well. I can't risk her being sent off if she might have information. I'll go." Jem wondered what Nate must be like, if Tessa was willing to meet someone like Camille in the hopes that she might have information regarding his whereabouts.

"Don't you even want to know what she wants from you?" Will asked, but Tessa ignored the question.

"Aside from the Dark Sisters, I've never really met another Downworlder," she said, "I think—that I would like to."

"Tessa—," Jem began, wanting to explain that she wasn't a vampire, and as of yet, it was not certain that she was a downworlder. But Tessa had left after Charlotte, leaving the rest of the Institute residents in the dining room.


	3. Chapter 3

Getting up, Jem and Will walked out of the dining room and went toward the Sanctuary-catching up with Tessa almost immediately, flanking her on either side.

"You didn't really think we weren't going to come along, did you?" Will asked her, lighting the corridor with witchlight.

Looking straight ahead but addressing Will, Tessa said, "I know you can't leave anything well enough alone, but I thought better of Jem."

"Where Will goes, I go," Jem said, liking that Tessa thought so kindly of him, "And besides, I'm as curious as he is."

"That hardly seems a subject for boasting. Where are we going? Have we turned the wrong way?"

"Patience is a virtue, Miss Gray," said Will, and Jem noticed that he seemed on edge. The words came out sharply to Tessa, and Jem wished that Will might try a little harder to be kind to the girl.

Charlotte spoke up, "This corridor leads to our Sanctuary. It is the only part of the Institute that is not on hallowed ground. It is where we meet with those who, for whatever reason, cannot enter hallowed ground: those who are cursed, vampires, and the like. It is also often a place we choose to shelter Downworlders who are in danger from demons or other denizens of the Shadow World. For that reason, there are many protections placed on the doors, and it is difficult to enter or exit the room without possessing either a stele or the key."

Charlotte's mini-lecture was for Tessa's benefit, and the information was not lost on Tessa, "Is it a curse? Being a vampire?" Tessa asked Charlotte, and Jem let his mind wander a little until he heard Tessa's voice, "Being a vampire isn't a curse. It's a disease," Tessa filled in. "But they still can't enter hallowed ground, then? Does that mean they're damned?"

"That depends on what you believe," said Jem. "And whether you even believe in damnation at all."

Tessa sounded incredulous, "But you hunt demons. You must believe in damnation!"

"I believe in good and evil," said Jem, "And I believe the soul is eternal. But I don't believe in the fiery pit, the pitchforks, or endless torment. I do not believe you can threaten people into goodness."

Tessa took that in and looked at Will. "What about you? What do you believe?"

"Pulvis et umbra sumus," said Will, still on edge and not looking at Tessa, "I believe we are dust and shadows. What else is there?"

Charlotte looked reproachfully at Will, "Whatever you believe, please don't suggest to Lady Belcourt that you think she's damned. She has very kindly offered to help us, and there's no purpose in offering her such insults. That applies to you especially, Will. If you can't be polite, I'll send you out of the Sanctuary. Jem, I trust you to be your charming self. Tessa…Try not to be frightened."

Jem found that comment odd, as Tessa seemed more curious than anything, she hardly ever seemed frightened, even by Jessamine's nastiness.

When they got into the Sanctuary, Camille was waiting. "Douse your witchlight, Will," Charlotte said before walking ahead of them, "So good of you to wait for us, Baroness. I trust you have found the Sanctuary comfortable enough for your tastes?"

"As always, Charlotte." Lady Belcourt said, polite as always.

"Lady Belcourt. Please let me introduce you to Miss Theresa Gray." Charlotte said, gesturing at Tessa, "Beside her is Mr. James Carstairs, one of our young Shadowhunters, and with him is—"

"William Herondale," Camille said, and Jem looked sideways at his parabatai, "Fancy you coming to greet me."

"You know each other?" Charlotte tried to stay calm, but Jem saw the anxiety at what Will might have done.

Jem listened as Camille told them that Will had won money from her, and Will interjected that he was pretending to be a foolish mundane. Charlotte asked where the money had gone, as it was the Clave's property.

"I spent it on gin." Will said the lie effortlessly, and Jem felt a twinge of curiosity.

"Will." Charlotte hid her mortification poorly.

"The spoils of vice are a burdensome responsibility." Will's response seemed flat, as if his heart wasn't in it.

"Yet one you seem strangely able to bear," said Jem, before Charlotte spoke again. "I will deal with you later, William," she said, "Lady Belcourt, am I to understand that you also are a member of the Pandemonium Club?"

"Certainly not." Lady Becourt went on about the organization, and Charlotte listened intently. "De Quincey is a member," said Charlotte, "I have been told he is the head of the organization, in fact. Did you know that?"

Lady Belcourt shook her head before going on about De Quincy, "And most of all, he hates the Nephilim."

Jem leaned over and whispered to Will, "Now, why on Earth would De Quincy hate us?"

"Indeed," Will said. "How could anyone despise us when we are so charming?"

Charlotte and Camille continued to discuss De Quincy, "And you know nothing of his involvement with two women called the Dark Sisters? Nothing of his interest in automatons—mechanical creatures?" Charlotte asked, and Tessa's eyes lit up.

"Ugh, the Dark Sisters." Lady Belcourt shuddered. "Such ugly, unpleasant creatures. Warlocks, I believe. I avoided them. They were known to provide for the members of the club who might have less … savory interests. Demon drugs, Downworld prostitutes, that sort of thing."

"And the automatons?" Charlotte pressed.

"If de Quincey has some fascination with watch parts, I know nothing of it. In fact, when you first contacted me about de Quincey, Charlotte, I had no intention of coming forward with any information at all. It is one thing to share a few Downworld secrets with the Clave, another thing entirely to betray the most powerful vampire in London. That was, until I heard about your little shape-shifter. I can see the family resemblance."

"The resemblance to whom?" For the first time, Tessa looked unnerved.

"Why, to Nathaniel, of course. To your brother."

"You've seen my brother?" Tessa said, her tone was one that Jem hadn't heard her use before. As Camille and Tessa spoke, Jem watched how Tessa was not scared, she was just determined to find her brother. Their relationship intrigued Jem, who had no siblings, and would not have expected the younger sibling to be so protective of the eldest.

They began to plan how to get into De Quincey's party, with Tessa disguised as Camille, and Will with her as a subjugate, "Because the rest of us all are hideous, are we?" Jem asked, "Is that why I can't do it?"

"No," Will said, his dark blue gaze locking on Jem's face, "You know why it can't be you." Jem held the gaze for a moment before letting it go.

When it was decided, Camille gave Tessa her ruby pendant to Change with, and Tessa took it and Changed.

"Tessa?" Jem said, sinking down onto his heels beside the chair, taking one of her hands. Tessa took a sobbing breath, and Jem wondered what she was thinking.

"Oh, God," she said in a soft whisper to Jem. "I—my heart's not beating. I feel as if I've died. Jem—" He stroked her hand, carefully, soothingly, and looked up at her with his silver eyes. The expression in them had not changed with the change in her; he looked at her as he had before, as if she were still Tessa Gray. "You're alive," he said, in a voice so soft only she could hear it. "You're wearing a different skin, but you're Tessa, and you're alive. Do you know how I know that?" She shook her head. "Because you said the word 'God' just now to me. No vampire could say that." He squeezed her hand. "Your soul is still the same." She closed her eyes and sat still for a moment, concentrating on the pressure of his hand on hers, his warm skin against hers that was icy cold. Slowly the trembling that shook her body began to fade; she opened her eyes, and gave Jem a faint, shaky smile.

"Tessa," said Charlotte. "Are you— Is everything all right?" Tessa drew her eyes away from Jem's face and looked at Charlotte, who was watching her with an anxious gaze. Will, beside Charlotte, wore an unreadable expression. Camille gave her comments, and then Tessa let go of the Change.

Camille asked for the necklace back, and Jem took the ruby pendant from Tessa to bring it to the vampire, ready to be done with this visit. But there was still things to discuss, such as how Tessa and Will would find their way around De Quincey's house: "Magnus Bane." Camille said.

"The warlock?" Charlotte's eyebrows rose. Jem listened as Camille told them that Bane was her lover, at which Tessa looked quite shocked that a lady would say something like that. And then, Charlotte asked Will and Jem to escort Lady Belcourt out, Jem complied, of course, but he really wanted to talk to Tessa, to see if she was really all right. And he wished to see why Will was acting the way he was around Tessa-what he possibly had against the girl, when she had done him no wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

Two days later, Jem sat with Will on a table in the library, watching Tessa try to be Camille Belcourt. Will's oddness toward Tessa hadn't gone away-in fact, Jem noted, it seemed to have gotten worse, especially now that he'd just likened the way she was walking to a duck.

"I like ducks, especially the ones in Hyde Park." Jem said, glancing at Will, "Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?"

Will smirked, "They ate it too. Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck."

"Do you mind? If you're not going to help me, you might as well both leave. I didn't let you stay here so that I could listen to you nattering on about ducks." Tessa was glaring at Will as she spoke, but Jem wished he hadn't continued on the subject, anyway.

"Your impatience is most unladylike." Will said, but he smiled in a way that made Jem question if he hadn't began to like Tessa, "Perhaps Camille's vampire nature is asserting itself?"

Tessa suddenly gasped, and Jem saw that when her finger came away from her mouth, it was dotted with red.

Will spoke up, "Leave it alone. You'll find you heal very quickly."

"I don't understand what makes them come out like that!" Tessa looked exasperated, and Jem couldn't blame her.

"Hunger," said Jem. "Were you thinking about blood?"

"No." Tessa looked slightly offended that he'd asked.

"Were you thinking about eating me?" Will asked.

"No!"

"No one would blame you," said Jem, hiding a smirk, "He's very annoying."

Tessa sighed. "Camille is so difficult. I don't understand the first thing about her, much less being her."

Jem looked at her, "Are you able to touch her thoughts? The way you said you could touch the thoughts of those you transformed into?"

"Not yet. I've been trying, but all I get are occasional flashes, images. Her thoughts seem very well protected."

"Well, hopefully you can break through that protection before tomorrow night," said Will. "Or I wouldn't say much about our chances."

"Will, don't say that." Jem said, hoping Will's words didn't hurt Tessa's feelings.

"You're right," Will said. "I shouldn't underestimate my own skills. Should Tessa make a mess of things, I'm sure I'll be able to fight our way through the slavering vampire masses to freedom."

Ignoring Will, Jem said, "Perhaps you can only touch the thoughts of the dead, Tessa? Perhaps most of the objects given to you by the Dark Sisters were taken from people they had murdered." Tessa shook her head, "No. I touched Jessamine's thoughts when I Changed into her. So that can't be it, thankfully. What a morbid talent that would be."

Though they _were_ talking, Jem felt a little bashful about staring at Tessa, asking, "How clearly can you see the thoughts of the dead? For instance, if I gave you an item that had once belonged to my father, would you know what he was thinking when he died?"

Will have Jem a sharp look, saying, "James, I don't think—," but the library door opened and the trio hid behind a bookcase. As Jem watched Charlotte and the Enclave enter, he felt his stomach drop. "Gabriel Lightwood. What's he doing here? I thought he was in school in Idris." When Will didn't answer, Jem added, "Just don't get into a fight with him, Will. Not here. That's all I ask."

"Rather a lot to ask, don't you think?" Will said, leaning out from behind the bookcase.

He was being a bit too conspicuous and someone called, "And who's back there, then? Come out and show yourself!"

Will and Jem exchanged a look, "No point hiding till they drag us out, is there?"

Tessa spoke quickly, "Speak for yourself. I don't need Charlotte angry at me if we're not supposed to be in here."

"Don't work yourself into a state," Will said, rolling his eyes, "There's no reason you'd have had any idea about the Enclave meeting, and Charlotte's perfectly well aware of that. She always knows exactly who to blame. I'd turn yourself back into yourself, though, if you take my meaning. No need to give too much of a shock to their hoary old constitutions."

"Oh!" Jem watched as Tessa quickly changed from Camille back to herself.

"Will." Charlotte said as they stepped out, shaking her head at Tessa and Jem, "I told you the Enclave would be meeting here at four o'clock."

"Did you? I must have forgotten that. Dreadful. 'Lo there, Gabriel." Will's grin was met with a glare from the other boy.

"William. And James. Aren't you both a little young to be lurking around Enclave meetings?" Gabriel said, and Jem wished that Will had not engaged him in conversation.

"Aren't you?" Jem asked, one eyebrow raised. He didn't dislike Gabriel with the same passion as Will, but he certainly did not enjoy being around the other boy.

"I turned eighteen in June. I have every right to participate in Enclave activities now." Gabriel said haughtily, before Callida Fairchild spoke up, "How fascinating for you. So is this her, Lottie? The warlock girl you were telling us about? She doesn't look like much." Jem kept a straight face, but his irritation made it hard, especially when Benedict Lightwood said, "Let's have it then. Show us what you can do."

"I'm not a warlock," Tessa said, looking as angry as Jem had seen her.

"Well, you're certainly something, my girl," said Callida, "If not a warlock, then what?"

Charlotte interjected then, and Jem was almost relieved, but then Gabriel said, "Mrs. Branwell, is William, or is he not, too young to be participating in an Enclave meeting?"

Charlotte looked at the boys, "Yes, he is. Will, Jem, if you'll please wait outside in the corridor with Tessa."

Jem kept an eye on Will, and he stayed silent.

"I will show you out," Gabriel announced, annoyingly triumphant. He ushered the three of them out of the library, then swung out into the corridor after them. "You," he spat at Will, pitching his voice low so that those in the library couldn't overhear him. "You disgrace the name of Shadowhunters everywhere."

Will's expressionless face stayed the same as he regarded Gabriel, "I didn't realize there was much of a name left to disgrace, after your father—"

"I will thank you not to speak of my family."

"How unfortunate that the prospect of your gratitude is not a tempting one," Will said, looking oddly at ease, leaning against the corridor wall.

"What?" Gabriel asked, his green eyes glowing with hatred.

"He means that he doesn't care for your thanks." Jem said, hoping that Tessa wasn't horrified by their behavior.

"If you weren't underage, Herondale, it would be monomachia for us. Just you and me, to the death. I'd chop you into bloody carpet rags—"

"Stop it, Gabriel," Jem said, "Goading Will into single combat—that's like punishing a dog after you've tormented it into biting you. You know how he is."

Will didn't move his gaze from Gabriel's face, "Much obliged, James. I appreciate the testament to my character."

"It is the truth." Jem said, shrugging.

Gabriel addressed Jem, "Stay out of this, Carstairs. This doesn't concern you."

Looking at Gabriel, Jem said, "If it concerns Will, it concerns me."

"You're a decent Shadowhunter, James, and a gentleman. You have your—disability, but no one blames you for that. But this—" Gabriel pointed at Will, "This filth will only drag you down. Find someone else to be your parabatai. No one expects Will Herondale to live past nineteen, and no one will be sorry to see him go, either—"

"What a thing to say!" Tessa said, surprising all three boys.

Gabriel seemed to have forgotten she was there, "Pardon me?"

"You heard me," Tessa said angrily, "Telling someone you wouldn't be sorry if they died! It's inexcusable!" She took hold of Will by the sleeve. "Come along, Will. This—this person—obviously isn't worth wasting your time on."

Will's eyes were bright, "So true."

"You—you—you haven't the slightest idea of the things he's done—" Gabriel stammered, seeming unnerved by Tessa's outburst.

"And I don't care, either. You're all Nephilim, aren't you? Well, aren't you? You're supposed to be on the same side." Tessa frowned at Gabriel. "I think you owe Will an apology."

"I," said Gabriel, "would rather have my entrails yanked out and tied in a knot in front of my own eyes than apologize to such a worm."

"Gracious," said Jem mildly, trying to assess what Will would do next. "You can't mean that. Not the Will being a worm part, of course. The bit about the entrails. That sounds dreadful."

"I do mean it," said Gabriel, clearly enjoying himself, "I would rather be dropped into a vat of Malphas venom and left to dissolve slowly until only my bones were left."

"Really," said Will. "Because I happen to know a chap who could sell us a vat of—" The door of the library opened, and Benedict said, "Gabriel, do you plan to attend the meeting—your first Enclave meeting, if I must remind you—or would you rather play out here in the corridor with the rest of the children?"

The three boys and Tessa winced at the tone Benedict employed, and Gabriel followed his father back into the library. Jem saw Tessa's curiosity in her eyes, and he wondered when she would ask about Gabriel next.

"Well, that was about as bad as I had expected it would be. Is this the first time you've seen him since last year's Christmas party?" Jem asked, looking at Will.

"Yes. Do you think I should have told him I missed him?" Will asked, a playful smile tugging at his lips.

"No," said Jem.

"Is he always like that?" Tessa asked. "So awful?"

"You should see his older brother," said Jem, wondering vaguely what Tessa would have done if she saw Will at his worst, "Makes Gabriel look sweeter than gingerbread. Hates Will even more than Gabriel, too, if that's possible."

Will promptly turned and led the other two down the corridor after him.

"Why would Gabriel Lightwood hate you, Will?" Tessa asked as they went. "What did you do to him?"

"It wasn't anything I did to him," Will said, stalking along at a rapid pace, "It was something I did to his sister."

Tessa looked sideways at Jem, who shrugged. "Where there's our Will, there's a half-dozen angry girls claiming he's compromised their virtue."

"Did you?" asked Tessa, and Jem noted that she was trying to keep up with their pace, even in her heavy skirts. "Compromise her virtue, I mean."

"You have a lot of questions, don't you?" Will said without inflection as he turned and went up a set of stairs.

"I do," Tessa said, "What's parabatai? And what did you mean about Gabriel's father being a disgrace to Shadowhunters?"

Jem answered, "Parabatai in Greek is just a term for a soldier paired with a chariot driver, but when Nephilim say it, we mean a matched team of warriors—two men who swear to protect each other and guard each other's backs." It didn't really describe him and Will, Jem thought, but it was a start.

"Men?" said Tessa. "There couldn't be a team of women, or a woman and a man?"

Will clarified that, and then told Tessa of Benedict's reputation for liking Downworlders and demon women more than the average Shadowhunter, likely causing a case of demon pox.

"Demon pox?" Tessa asked, her eyes shining in curiosity.

"He's made that up," Jem hastily reassured her. "Really, Will. How many times do we have to tell you there's no such thing as demon pox?"

Will had stopped in front of a narrow door at a bend in the staircase. "I think this is it," he said, ignoring Jem. Jiggling the doorknob to no avail, Will drew a Mark on the door with his stele. It swung open, with a puff of dust. "This ought to be a storeroom." Moving a trunk to make a clear place on the floor, Will stirred up dust that swirled around the room. Jem coughed, the dust burning his lungs, "one would think you brought us here to murder us if it weren't that your motivations for doing so seem cloudy at best."

"Not murder," Will said. "Hold on. I need to move one more trunk."

Tessa looked at Jem, "What did Gabriel mean, 'your disability'?"

Jem thought of telling her, but he knew that Will wouldn't react well, so he simply said, "My ill health. That's all." Tessa obviously did not believe him, but she didn't push the subject, as Will had announced that they could sit down.


	5. Chapter 5

After the Clave meeting had ended, Jem wondered what Tessa thought of Shadowhunters now. They were just as flawed as any group of people-capable of being power-hungry, selfish, and unkind to their own. She seemed fine enough, but he thought she seemed like the type to keep things in.

When it came time for Tessa and Will to go to De Quincey's house, Jem found himself worrying more than usual. Not just for Will, who Jem usually worried about, reckless as he tended to be, but for Tessa, too. Jem didn't like the thought of being around that many vampires, and he was a trained warrior. She was just a girl.

Grimacing, Jem drained the glass of water that he had stirred his drug into. The drug made him feel more alert as he changed into gear, and by the time he met Charlotte and Henry on the front steps, he felt better than he had in a long time.

Following the rest of the Shadowhunters that were dispatched to De Quincey's, Jem swung through the broken French windows, hearing the surprised exclamations. He saw Will's dark hair through the crowd, and Tessa as Camille nearby. Feeling a sense of relief that, though he was covered in blood, Will was okay, Jem quickly lost himself to the thrill of battle, fighting off the vampires coming at him and the other Shadowhunters. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw blond hair moving to the makeshift stage. Turning, Jem watched Tessa go to the shackled mundane, Camille's beautiful face distraught. In that moment of distraction, Jem caught scrapes across his face, and another across his shoulder, and for a moment, he felt his stamina falter. The drug was burning through his system quicker than he anticipated.

Will caught Jem's attention, throwing a blade into a vampire's shoulder. Jem quickly went behind him and stabbed the vampire, killing him instantly, making him drop the silver pistol that was in his hand. Jem kicked the pistol to Will, who picked it up and went to De Quincey, beginning to threaten and antagonize him. Jem's breath caught as De Quincey caught Will and began choking him, and he felt the breath go out in a sort of half-laugh when Will ducked and bit the vampire. As Will rolled away from De Quincey, Jem drew closer to Tessa, seeing her eyes widen as Will spat out blood.

The iratze Will was drawing made Jem feel instantaneous relief, and he felt his body healing. Will's energy didn't fade after the battle, but Jem knew that the other boy would have to choke down holy water later, and he didn't begrudge Will anything, good or bad. The mundane, it turned out, was Tessa's brother, Nate. Jem hadn't noticed any family resemblance, but then, he didn't have much experience with siblings.

As they rode back to the Institute, with Will sulking from being pulled away from Gabriel, and Jem asking him why he behaved the way he did, the subject of Tessa arose, with Will saying, "And Tessa, the silly creature, was supposed to be out the door with Magnus, but she wouldn't leave—"

Jem pointed out that her brother was there, bloodied and wan as he was, and he wouldn't have left either.

"I see you're determined to miss my point." Will said, looking out the window, his face set.

"If your point is that there was a pretty girl in the room and it was distracting you, then I think I've taken your point handily."

"You think she's pretty?" Will asked, looking away from the window. His face showed surprise, an emotion Jem rarely saw him display.

"Yes, and you do too." Jem said without hesitation.

Will looked away again, "I hadn't noticed, really."

"Yes, you have, and I've noticed you noticing." Jem didn't take his eyes off of his parabatai, and Will knew from Jem's tone that he was smiling. "Isn't she something though, Tessa? She is quite brave. Much braver than I would expect of someone that has thought of themselves as nothing but a mundane in a mundane world for their entire life." Jem said thoughtfully, though Will showed no sign of even hearing him. Jem couldn't believe she picked up that pistol-just picked it up and fired it without hesitation. "I only hope her brother is as innocent as she thinks, for her sake. She does really love him."

Again, Will didn't speak.

"Will, have you heard a single word I've said in the past five minutes?"

"Not really." Will's blue eyes met Jem's, they looked far away.

"We needn't talk about Tessa if you don't want to, you know."

"It's not Tessa." Will was in a mood, Jem thought, but he just stayed silent until the

other boy spoke again, and they discussed the darkling boy.

"I'm going to get drunk when we get home, I think I'm going to have to." Will said, his voice taking on the tone of absurdity that the other inhabitants of the Institute thought was part of his normal behavior.

"No, you won't. You know exactly what will happen when we get home." Jem's steady silver eyes bore into Will's, and Will scowled and stayed silent.

Jem had gone and bathed, scrubbing his hair, feeling the fragile strands between his fingers. When he went downstairs, he saw Tessa punch the wall in the corridor and then shake out her hand, obviously pained.

"That looked like it hurt."

At that, Tessa turned and looked at Jem, "It did."

"Your brother, is he going to be all right?"

"I don't know. He's in there with one of those—those monk creatures."

As they talked about the Silent Brothers, Jem noticed the plain disgust in Tessa's voice. He thought it was interesting, the stock she seemed to put into looks. He wondered what she thought of him.

Tessa told Jem about what brother Enoch had told her about Nate being fully human. He couldn't blame her for despairing over the news that she was not what she had always thought, though she was still human, after all. At least in part, Jem was almost sure of it. She had human compassion, bravery, fear. They talked more, and Jem told Tessa what he believed, about a shade never changing the flame inside. She looked surprised at his speech, Jem wished he hadn't shared quite so much, but Tessa also looked relieved.

Charlotte entered the hallway from Nate's room, addressing the pair, "Brother Enoch has helped your brother a great deal, but there is much left to be done, and it will be morning before we know more. I suggest you go to sleep, Tessa. Exhausting yourself won't help Nathaniel." Tessa nodded, but Jem noticed that she looked like she was restraining herself from asking Charlotte more.

Charlotte turned to Jem, pulling him out of his thoughts, "And Jem. If I could talk to you for a few moments? Will you walk with me to the library?"

"Of course." Jem said, though he didn't really have much of a choice. To Tessa, he said, "Tomorrow, then," and walked away from her with Charlotte.


	6. Chapter 6

"Where's Will at, anyway?" Jem asked, before he left Charlotte alone in the library.

"Attic. I asked Sophie to give him holy water."

 _Poor Sophie,_ Jem thought. Will and Sophie were particularly nasty to each other, but that didn't warrant the vile things that Will said to the girl.

Jem returned to his room to rest, feeling the exhaustion in his bones mixed with something else, the feeling that the drug gave him as it wore off, the craving for more _yin fen._

The next day, Jem and Will were in the drawing room with Charlotte. Jem hadn't seen Tessa all day, and Will was in an awful mood-hardly any company. Nathaniel Gray, it seemed, was enough of an interest to Jessamine that she actually wanted to provide some help.

They were discussing Mr. Gray presently. Or, rather, Will was shouting about Mr. Gray, "This isn't the London Hospital. Tessa's brother shouldn't be here!" Jem was taken aback by Will's ferocity, and remained quiet as Will continued.

Charlotte spoke, "He can't be treated by mundane doctors. Not for what's wrong with him. Be reasonable, Will."

Catching Will's eyes, Jem reminded his parabatai that Nate already knew about Downworld, and that there was a strong chance that Nate knew information that the Clave doesn't know.

Will didn't falter, saying that the Silent Brothers could just go through Nate's mind even when unconscious.

Charlotte tried to reason with Will, but he simply shrugged and said, "I doubt it was that much of a mind to begin with."

Jem spoke up, "You know nothing about the man. I can't imagine what's driving this mood of yours, Will, but it does you no credit."

The conversation shifted to the events the night before. Jem thought that Charlotte's attempts to understand Will were very kind, but Will regarded her coldly, calling Henry a useless fool. Jem's temper flared, but he took a deep breath before saying Will's name, willing him to control himself.

"No. James, don't." Charlotte's voice compelled Jem to look away from Will and at her when she spoke, "Will, Henry is a good, kind man and he loves you."

Again, Will disregarded the care and kindness showed to him by Charlotte, and Jem rather felt that Will was enjoying the way he was hurting Charlotte now.

"I mean everything I say," said Will, and Jem thought about catching him, but thought better of it as the other boy continued."Especially when I tell you that we're better off sifting through Nathaniel Gray's mind now rather than later. If you're too sentimental to do it—"

Jem's gaze tore away from Charlotte as Tessa entered the room. Will looked angrier than before, his words deliberate when he baited Tessa about her brother.

Tessa responded coldly to him before turning to Charlotte, a ferocity in her eyes that only showed up when she spoke of Nate, "I won't let Brother Enoch go pawing through Nate's mind. He's sick enough already; it would probably kill him."

Charlotte assured Tessa that the Silent Brothers would leave Nate alone until he healed.

Speaking again, Will had his usual detached tone, and his eyes were staring at the flames in the fireplace. Jem wondered why he wouldn't look at Tessa when he addressed her, and it seemed to irritate Tessa further as she answered, her eyes boring into the back of Will's head. Finally, he turned to look at her, "All you've ever cared about is finding your brother. And now you've found him. Good for you. But that was never our goal. You do realize that, don't you? We don't usually go quite this far out of our way for the sake of one delinquent mundane."

Jem tried to reiterate Will's point kindly, trying to not offend Tessa in the slightest. Will had the opposite goal, it seemed, and Jem stayed silent as the other three occupants of the room kept talking. Tessa's voice rose until she was nearly shouting, and then she told them not to follow her. She left the room, leaving Jem, Will, and Charlotte staring after her.

Jem rose, leaving the room as well, hoping Will wouldn't hurt Charlotte further in his absence. Making his way to the entrance of the Institute, opening the door and noticing the lonely figure on the steps.

"I know what you're thinking." Tessa looked skeptical, but Jem smiled anyway, even though she couldn't see his face.

"I don't think you do." Tessa's voice had lost the anger since shouting at Will and Charlotte.

"You're thinking, If they call this damp nastiness summer, what must winter be like? You'd be surprised. Winter's actually much the same. It's spring that's really lovely." As he spoke, Jem moved out from the shadows to sit by Tessa, laying his cane on the steps beside him.

Tessa's voice held polite disinterest, "Is it?"

"No. It's actually quite foggy and wet as well." Jem looked at Tessa, but she was still looking toward the front gate, "I know you said not to follow you. But I was rather hoping you just meant Will."

"I did. I shouldn't have shouted like that." While she spoke, Tessa turned to look at Jem, and he felt her remorse as if it were tangible.

Shaking his head, Jem said, "No, you were quite right to say what you did," and then the pair discussed the way Nephilim think, Charlotte running the Institute, what had happened upstairs, and finally, Will.

"Will didn't really mean what he said, either, did he? He wouldn't hurt Nate." Tessa's voice was so sure now, ready to believe that Will wasn't who he tried so hard to be. And Jem wondered if it was his place, telling Tessa what she was right about Will. He told her that he was surprised that she had figured Will out so soon, he'd had years to try to try to understand Will.

"So you don't ever get angry at him?" Tessa asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Jem laughed, "I would hardly say that. Sometimes I want to strangle him." _And myself,_ Jem thought.

"How on earth do you prevent yourself?"

Jem found himself telling Tessa about his method of going to his favorite place, and wondered if they ought to go, when Tessa spurred it on by asking, "So where is it, then? This favorite place of yours?"

Jem wondered how his body would react to the walk… it wasn't horribly long, but an attack was possible. Standing up, he said, "Come along, and I'll show you."

"Is it far?"

He smiled then, deciding to throw caution to the wind for this pretty girl who was almost a stranger, "Not at all." Holding out a hand, he pulled Tessa to her feet.


End file.
